Scuttlebutt
by harpandsword
Summary: Liara needs someone to talk to and the commander is not available.


Liara T'Soni was restless. Normally, she enjoyed being in her small, quiet space aboard the Normandy. Being an archeologist, she was accustomed to long periods of isolation during her studies of Prothean ruins, and it wasn't like her to suffer cabin fever. In fact, she preferred the small dark office Dr. Chakwas had set aside for her and the familiar solitude it brought to the company of the loud, fast talking humans that ran the ship. However, in light of recent events, she felt an unusual need to seek out company.

She stood up to exit the refuge of her lab when an ear splitting cry came from the room next door. She emerged from seclusion and allowed her eyes to adjust to the assaulting sterile light of the Normandy's medical bay. At once, the scientist was able to identify source of the noise.

"Dammit, Nurse Ratched! Think you could give me some warning first?" Gunnery Chief Williams was sitting on the examination table with only the bottom half of her hard suit on. The chest and back plates to her armor were laying on the floor next to the table. From the discoloration of the skin around the chief's shoulder and the previous shrieking it wasn't hard for Liara to surmise what had just happened. Regardless of how strong a particular individual may be, having one's shoulder pulled back into place after dislocation was excruciating.

The unflappable Dr. Chakwas merely regarded the Gunnery Chief with a cool stare, "Williams, I am a _doctor. _If you are going to demote me, I am going to begin referring to you as _corporal. _As for your question, it would have been more painful had you been bracing yourself."

"Sorry, doc," said the sincerely apologetic chief.

"It's all right, Williams. I've been called far worse things by soldiers in pain."

"Maybe she wouldn't be in pain if she hadn't insisted on taking on an asari matriarch by herself when I specifically ordered her to take cover," said Commander Shepard as she entered the medical bay encumbered by the debilitated form of Lt Kaidan Alenko.

It was common knowledge that the lieutenant was prone to migraines due to his outdated L2 implants. He was even more susceptible to these migraines after biotic displays of force. It appeared that the ground team's battle with Matriarch Benezia had triggered just such a malady.

As she looked around the medical bay, Liara felt nothing but guilt and for that felt even more guilty. She knew she should morn the loss of her mother, despite all the trouble she had caused, but all she felt was a sense of culpability for the pain her own blood had inflicted. She stepped back into the darkness of her lab unnoticed amidst all the activity of the med bay.

"Believe me, Commander, I won't be doing that again. I had no idea how big a punch those biotic throws could carry," the chief swore as she remembered being picked up and tossed like a child into the nearby crates and the stomach turning "pop" that had followed.

"Believe me, Chief, if you ever disobey my orders again, I will demonstrate just how big a punch _my_ biotic throws _do_ carry," the commander replied as she eased the lieutenant onto one of the empty examination tables. The exhausted man emitted a low moan, about the only thing distinguishing his current state from unconsciousness.

"What's wrong with this one?" The doctor indicated the lieutenant.

"Just got done briefing the council when I found him passed out behind his station on my way down here. Apparently my entire crew is suicidal. They either run strait into incoming fire or hide their medical status from me."

Doctor Chakwas choose not to comment. For a brief moment she considered a commentary on how it was better to have soldiers too willing to endure pain than too unwilling, _and as she had rarely met one who had mastered a happy medium between the two extremes_... However, in her experience, she had found it was best to let commanders vent after stressful missions.

After taking some readings and administering a sedative, the doctor decided it would be best for Kaidan to lay down in a dark room for awhile. She started to help him over to Liara's office. She was sure the asari would be amicable enough to allow the L.T. into her darkened space until he was himself again. Normally she would simply dim the lights in the med bay, but as she still had a few patients to examine and light was conducive to those examinations, she thought it would be prudent to move Alenko. As she and Shepard helped him across the room, the doctor called to the chief in passing,

"You're free to go, Williams."

"Oh no she's not," Shepard countermanded. "You wait right there until I get back," the commander said with a meaningful look.

Liara was startled when the door rushed open, this time seemingly of it's own accord. She had been pacing back and forth when the two women entered in with Alenko in tow.

"Liara," Shepard started, "I've been meaning to talk to..."

"It's all right, Shepard. I read the reports and a commander needs attend to her casualties." The scientist quickly sidestepped the two women who were still supporting Kaidan.

"Liara..." Shepard started, her eyes full of worry.

"No, no. It's all right. I was just about to...make my way to the chow hall. I see the lieutenant needs this space again anyways. I already have a cot laid out. After being trapped in that Prothean force field, I can't really tolerate the sleeper pods. I've become somewhat claustrophobic ever since."

She was doing it again, babbling nonsensically in front of Shepard. Liara couldn't help it. She so admired the SPECTRE's strength and intelligence and even more so her compassion. It was obvious that as soon as Shepard's duties were attended to, her first order of business was to check on Liara, to see how she was coping with the death of her mother. How Liara would have sought solace in that conversation, but she could tell Shepard had too much on her plate right now, with the injuries to her crew, the council looking over her shoulder, and the Alliance tossing random assignments at her every time they popped into a new system. She wouldn't heap guidance counselor on top of that list.

Shepard looked unsure of the Liara's decision but before she could voice her disagreement, the asari had politely moved passed them and made her way out the door, making certain to avoid eye contact with the chief.

Despite herself, Liara glanced up at Ashley as she passed. The chief failed to notice as she was staring sullenly into the corner, no doubt anticipating Shepard's reprimand. Ashley's shoulder was growing steadily more purple despite its having been put back in it's proper place. It would no doubt keep her laid up on the ship for a few days, adding to the chief's misery. There was nothing Williams hated more than being cooped up on the Normandy while her friends were in danger. Liara couldn't help the additional guilt that welled up in her chest at the thought. She redoubled her speed and made her way out of the med bay.

She desperately wanted to talk to someone. He first choice would have been the commander, but she had just ruined that option. After that, she would have turned to the cool headed Lt Alenko, but he was in no condition to provide counsel. She couldn't bring herself to face Williams, who wouldn't be available to speak with anyhow as she was no doubt being rebuked for her reckless behavior right now. Wrex and Garrus were too hot headed for the conversation she wanted to have and Tali was probably crawling around in the annals of the Normandy, impossible to find.

In her frustration she flopped down on the floor right next to one of the dreaded sleeper pods. It was the night shift and there was no one to notice her odd behavior. There was a loud "whoosh" from the automatic doors of the med bay as the commander and Williams walked out. Shepard was carrying the top half of Williams armor in her hand. The chief looked strange with a plain PT shirt over a combat hard suit bottom. Although, with her arm immobilized it wasn't as if she was getting that armor back on anytime soon.

"Look, Ash," the commander's voice was much gentler than Liara would have expected given the ire she had displayed in the med bay. The commander summoned the elevator and faced her Marine.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm. And I appreciate where you're coming from. I remember our last conversation. 'A Williams has to be better than the best, if only to avoid suspicion.' I was listening to you. But now you need to listen to me. You don't have to kill yourself to clear your family name. I'd much rather pin a medal on you than have to ship it back to Sarah. Do you understand?"

The chief's response was cut off by the shutting of the elevator doors and Liara was left alone with her thoughts again. She briefly considered talking to Dr. Chakwas but quickly dismissed the idea. The doctor was busy treating her mother's victims.

So without regard to where she was going, Liara began to move for the sake of movement. She tripped up the stairs, bumped into a crew member heading for the chow hall, and then tumbled into XO Pressley who gave her a terse greeting and asked if she was lost. After assuring the XO that was, in fact, fully aware of where she was going, Liara meandered forth in search of whatever it was she was looking for.

Her eyes were drawn to tiny streaks of light running along the outside of the ship. She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her awhile to identify them as the stars passing by as the Normandy glided through space on her way back to the Citadel. The mesmerizing beauty of their twinkling lights drew her like a siren's call to the tiny port in the Normandy's forward section. The pattern seemed to hypnotize her mind into emptying its contents. This small little window was the only place on the ship from which it's occupants could see outside. She was surprised people didn't line up here to look out the window all the time. She let her mind meander about different subjects of varying irrelevance until she was jerked back to the present by a jarring statement.

"No parking."

"What?" Liara looked around confused, searching for the source of the sound.

"I know. I'm here so much people tend to think I'm part of the decor, but if every trip to the head was a possible complex fracture for you, I bet you'd stay put too."

"Joker," Liara said the pilot's name as if to make certain it was him.

"That's me."

Liara had heard Joker's voice before, in the conference room, but had never actually met him. To tell the truth, after the callous remarks he made during every mission debriefing, she'd gone out of her way to avoid him. She particularly remembered his sarcasm after her rescue from Therum. At first this irritated her. She was shaken and traumatized, having just been attacked by geth, trapped for who knew how long without food nor water, and narrowly surviving a cave in, and he had been glib. It was as if he did not even acknowledge the danger she was in.

Later, Shepard had identified this as a human coping mechanism. Joker doggedly refused to acknowledge the dangers of his chosen line of work and his sense of 'humor' was his method doing so. She pointed out similar mechanisms in the rest of the crew; Wrex and his apathy towards death, Ashley and her bravado. One denied he cared about dying and the other denied it was even possible for her to die.

Liara shook her head. All these rough and dangerous people, so ready to die, or maybe they weren't, and that was why they denied their mortality or at least its significance.

"Have a seat if you're going to be staying awhile," Joker said, startling Liara. She must have been staring off into space again. She complied and sat herself in the rarely occupied co-pilot's chair.

"What brings you to my domain? All the chaos in the med bay getting to be to much for you?"

Liara was shocked by how observant the pilot was. She would have never thought of him as particularly empathetic. Per chance she had misjudged him based on her relatively brief contact with the pilot. Joker decided to fill in for her lack of answer.

"Yeah, I hate it when the casualties come in too. Makes me feel guilty."

Now Joker was eerily close to home and the gates that had held Liara's thoughts burst under the inexorable pressure of repressed emotions.

"Why should you feel guilty?" She flared. "Did your mother attempt to kill Commander Shepard? Per chance a distant cousin of yours injured Chief Williams?"

Joker quirked an eyebrow at the unusual bitterness in the asari's voice. He hadn't spent a great deal of time around her, but all the ship's scuttlebutt had her pegged as polite and meek. The acerbic remark wasn't in character, but then again, he would be more disturbed if she wasn't out of sorts after losing her mother.

"No. I feel guilty because I can't be down there with them. They fight while I monitor comms. And at least my guilt actually pertains to my actions, or lack thereof. What do you feel guilty about? That someone you haven't even seen in years is apparently unfriendly. And it's not like there was anything you could have done to stop her from going all crazy and what not."

"I do not even know if that is the cause of my remorse," Liara slumped forward in the chair.

"Then what is?"

"I do no feel...anything for the loss of my mother."

"Why does that bother you?"

"She was my mother. I should feel some sense of...something."

"Just because someone donated DNA to your genetic make up doesn't make them a parent."

"Just because someone's DNA gave him a debilitating disease doesn't make him a coward."

"Touche."

"And yet, here we are, irrationally blaming ourselves."

"Here's to being irrational," Joker mimed raising a glass.

"Is that a human toast? Should we not have a beverage?"

"Hmm...I would but the commander tends to get a bit irritable when I fly tipsy."

"You have flown the Normandy inebriated?" Liara looked aghast.

"No, Liara. It's a joke."

"Oh. I am sorry. Human syntax and idioms confuse me. Your race says so much so fast and then what you don't say can be just as important. Trying to keep up can be overwhelming."

"Naw, that's just my smooth talking and boyish charm working their magic."

Liara stared blankly at the pilot for a moment, and then burst into laughter.

"Now, this I understand. Males across the galaxy seem to have a species wide crush on the asari."

Joker grumbled unitelligably and quickly changed subjects. "So what's the scuttlebutt?"

"Scuttlebutt?"

"Scuttlebutt, the word, gossip..."

"Why didn't you say gossip?"

"Because I like to show off my large vocabulary, now tell me what you know."

"Why?"

"Because I can't just get up and walk around to see what's going on around the ship and because it's the price of admission for my co-pilot's chair."

"Well, Lt Alenko is currently incapacitated due to a migraine, Chief Williams is recovering from a dislocated shoulder, Commander Shepard has completed her report to..."

"I said gossip, not status report."

"I'm sorry. I thought this would be information that would interest you."

"No, finding out the Wrex keeps rainbow and unicorn stickers in his equipment locker would interest me."

"I highly doubt that Wrex has..."

"You're missing the point. I want to know about the people not the events."

"Oh, I think I understand," and she was beginning to. Behind the apathetic exterior and claims that his interest in the ship rumor mill was a result of mere curiosity, Joker did care about his crew mates and wanted to know what was going on in their life, even when they didn't always have the time to stop by and tell him themselves.

"Well first off, Dr. Chakwas does not like to be referred to as 'Nurse Ratched.'"

Joker laughed. "I imagine not. I'll have to download an old vid to explain that one to you."

Liara accepted that she would have to wait to understand this and moved on, "I think there's something going on between the commander and Lt Alenko."

"Old news."

"Really? I was right?" Liara was overjoyed, albeit ridiculously so, that she had started to understand and correctly identify human interactions.

"Shh... You'll get them in trouble. Besides, don't get too excited. Neither of them will act on it. They're both too by the books. It would take the end of the galaxy to get those two together."

Distracted from her previous woes and enjoying partaking in the human ritual known as "gossiping," Liara decided on a bold question.

"So who do you wish to mate with?"

"Eh?"

"Or...see? Maybe...go with? No...date? Date. Yes, the word I was looking for."

"Vrolik's syndrome makes it a bit hard to take all the pretty girls dancing at Flux. Although, I hear that the asari can..."

Liara's glare shut Joker down before he could finish the thought.

"Can't blame a guy for tryin'."

"I assure you, I can," Liara said with no real malice in her voice.

Joker laughed. "Liara, the only girl on this ship I'm even remotely interested in seems bound and determined to get herself killed."

"The Gunnery Chief?"

"Yeah, but don't go spreading it around. The last thing I need is for an angry super soldier to come up here and whoop my ass."

"She is currently injured."

"That just makes it worse. Then the story will be that I got my ass whooped by a girl who had one arm in a sling."

Liara laughed. As the conversation drew to a close, she realized how much she had enjoyed the carefree banter with Joker. It had served as a much need distraction. And his logic was sound. There was nothing she could have done to prevent her mother's actions. She should not blame herself for the injuries she had not caused. And she had not spoken with her mother in years. She didn't need to feel guilty about a lack of emotion at her death. Although, Joker, in a rare serious moment, had warned her that sometimes people were simply numb when they first heard bad news, that the realization that her mother was really gone may, 'creep up on her.' This appeared be first hand knowledge, but Liara did not feel she knew him well enough yet to press the issue.

Never the less, for the time being, she felt better, in fact, good enough to go back to the chow hall she originally told the commander she was headed to. She stretched and got up to leave, turning to Joker before she left.

"How rude of me. Would you like anything from the mess?"

Joker yawned. "I could use a cup of joe if it's not too much trouble."

Liara stared blankly.

"Coffee, Liara. A cup of coffee."

Liara, relieved she didn't have to find the crewman named Joe and somehow fit him into a drinking cup, walked away to get the requested beverage, still basking in the pleasant feelings of a new friendship.


End file.
